I would be quite offended by her approach and empathy towards the abuser. Yes, we are products of our parents and their parenting skills but it is not for you or her to justify his actions. Would she be saying that to a child who had been emotionally/physically/verbally abused by their parents.
Yes, we can change how we react, deal with abusers but surely when you go to a councillor, it is because you need help with your own emotions. As Sahara said, someone can suffer abuse at the hands of their parent but they have a choice as to whether to continue with the cycle of abuse and most people don’t. I had a n**********c mother as a parent who emotionally abused me but I am so aware of where she went wrong, that I do my upmost not to mirror her behaviour with my own son, I look at the mistakes and know that they are not examples of a caring, nurturing mother.
I do think it helps when a therapist is trained or at least has a very good understanding of domestic violence, they at least know of what it is to suffer at the hands of an abuser.

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