#5821
Twisted Sister
Participant

Hi Bubbles

really sorry to hear about the reaction of your counsellor.

Is anyone else really worried about seeing a counsellor like this? someone who is trying to make us be understanding towards an abuser? to see their side and have sympathy for their treatment of us?

As others have said, being abused and having an horrendous childhood doesn’t lead directly to being abusive yourself, but she’s clearly saying there is only one pathway and thats it.

Becuase you have been frightened and intimidated and received violence as a child that you will automatically treat others this way? No… and to have come out of an abusive relationship and be told this stuff, i believe, is harmful in the extreme. I know I stayed because of sympathies for him, for trying to understand him, for giving him the benefit of the doubt, for loving him, for standing by his side when he was stressed even when he was highly abusive to me, so counsellor, I did the right thing then didn’t i? and i should go back for some more for myself and my children because leaving was cruel and poor him and what a sh*t life he had.

… despairs…. who can you turn to if this is what counsellors are telling us?

Did i make it all up, should i have been more understanding .. taken more of it, watched the children taking it and explained to them its alright Daddies had a hard childhood, don’t mind him, we need to feel sorry for him and help make him better?

I don’t doubt he’s had a cr*p time, yes, i have been made extremely aware of what an horrendous time he had and how awful life has been for pooor poor him and how noone loves him and how he’ll drop all his family and everyone for me (OMG! NOOOOO!!). I also get that there is a rather stiff code out there for a boy to grow up in (in some areas, and families), but does that mean its ok to terrorise someone you are supposed to love?

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