Midnight Marbles

Hi Wandering Cloud,

My husband used to do this 29 years ago, I worked full time and earnt a good wage, he couldn’t hold a job down so I was often the bread winner having to justify every penny I spent, even petrol and very much need clothes.

I had to threaten to leave and tell him I wasn’t going to tell him how much I had spent, this was horrific at the time, lots of his screaming at me and throwing things, sulking and pity me sessions, really hard to stay strong but it worked to certain degree.

However 29 years later I still carrying the emotional scars, I spend what I want but am always weary of letting on what and how much things are, although he knows not to say much it is still there, a look or a tut.

He still can’t hold a job down, so he does a few days when someone rings, he will only work about 5 hours and says that’s all he can manage, not a lot of money around, I still work full time and keep my opinions to myself because it wouldn’t do any good.

I tell you all this because what he’s doing will not get better, if anything it will lead to all areas of your life, I have to fight every day to keep a lid on his emotional abuse, on top it all looks fine, underlying tension is a different matter, it’s exhausting.

Hope I have said the right things to you and not gone on to much about my own situation. I would still love to leave but can’t, no idea of if I will but wish I had at that time.

MidnightMarbles xx

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