Thank you for your kind words. My husband has always been controlling but you never notice these things, they seem to form part of normality. It is only in recent years I am recognising his behaviour, it is helping now I am seeing a therapist as I am able to talk about me which is something I never do, his needs always come first. He has obsession with money and the more he has, the higher his status is in amongst people around us.To me, money is great but it doesnt rule my world. I am working towards leaving but it is really really scary. It sounds so simple when you hear other people say they have left, I wish I was one of them but I have to work to build my strength up which is where my therapist comes in.
I also lie about spending, we have to do it as part of surviving in an emotionally abusive marriage so dont feel guilty.
have you tried exploring the possibility of seeing a councillor? This may open doors for you that you never knew existed. Whilst I am not quite there yet, it has helped me enormously and I know that one day, I will take that plunge and leave. Life is too short to waste with someone who only loves themself. xx

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