#5880
SilkyHalide
Participant

I did this too. My experience is different and might sound more crazy. I thought I was in control and felt strong enough. I made it clear it was because we felt a connection that Sunday night and it didn’t make everything right or mean we were getting back together. He wanted it and I did too so seemed futile to let it turn into another coercion situation. I said I was worried it was unfair on him even though it’s what he wanted. Giving him false hope of an early reconciliation. We haven’t been separated long and thought
We wanted to see how the space helps rather than legally separate.
I didn’t feel bad then next day we did it again but it felt more like just sex I felt disconnected. From then he stopped pressuring me and seemed like it had settled him down but I felt like it was the calm before the storm or now he’d had his way he was all powerful, and I felt unsure of everything again. Then 2 days he was demanding again and then Sunday night I didn t eat with them when he was spending time with our girls as I had the week before. I had allowed him to ruin my weekend and needed to keep my head space. I came back in evening and he didn’t leave, at 1 ish he wanted a kiss and cuddle. He was so angry when I said no he ranted at me stomped round the house gathering his stuff ranted again and I stayed calm I couldn’t say anything that wouldn’t make it worse but inside I was thinking I set myself up for this one. He left slamming the door. Things have deteriorated from there. But however I deal with the coercion attempt it’s still the same outcome. The run up to that first Sunday I kept telling him no and trying to explain why and he still tried to make me feel like I was cruel for withholding affection. Then got angry and eventually when it wasn’t getting him anywhere left angrily.
And at least I know now it’s not going to help anyone so I won’t fall into that trap again.

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