Midnight Marbles

Oh you are so right.

I have seen a therapist twice now and that’s where all this has come to light, the first session he asked me if I had seen anyone about the domestic abuse! I know he had treated me badly but couldn’t put a name to it, this felt like a punch in the chest. I have not told husband anything about this, been there so many times and it makes no difference, just loud abuse.

My therapist is ill at the moment so I am on my own with it. I am reading why does he do that? And I can think of an example for most of the behaviours in the book but still can’t accept that leaving would be the best idea. I go from wanting out now, like you said very very scary, to thinking just get on and everything will be ok. OK!!!

Yesterday I went and enquired about renting a house, that was interesting. I won’t leave I’ll just keep on being OK.

I also lie about spending. My husband (detail removed by moderator)and that is his obsession, I have been second best to a bunch of birds!!!! Holidays on my own with 3 children,family events on my own, driving kids about while he’s on the garden. Alone all of the time very lonely, lonely for the man I’d like him to be but he never will be. When at home he’s always there though, watching and criticizing.

Sorry for the rant!!

MidnightMarbles xx

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