They do train us to think this way – they tell us so many times that their issues are down to our behaviour when really our behaviour is due to their issues. In moments of clarity I would remember how I was before him and that I didn’t act like that, and now I am not with him, surprise surprise I am not acting ‘like that’. Its just so hard to see it while your head is full of him and now, afterwards, I am still really hard on myself and wonder if we were just two people who were not meant to be together. But does that mean that he was not meant to be a father, a brother, a friend and a son – because he treats everyone in his life the same way, to one degree or another. Keep having to stop and check myself and remember that its how he was, not how I was. Other people can’t see it as much because they didn’t get the full abuser but I know, deep down, it was him x*x

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