Yes I totally agree and understand. My family have been really hard on me when they find out I have been seeing my violent ex-boyfriend. They keep saying, “Why do you keep going back to him? You’re setting yourself up for more abuse.” I know they are right but it is so easy for someone outside of the relationship to say those things, they are not the ones in love with the person are they? On the outside they have no feelings of love or romantic interest. They are not the ones facing losing a relationship and the love of their lives are they? So it is so easy for them to have a go at you. Plus the fact they are not the ones having been violently assaulted by the person they love. They are the ones experiencing confusion, depression and suicidal feelings, grief, panic, fear, despair, lack of hope, shock etc etc as a result of being a victim of violence and abuse by the person you love. It would be easier to let go of if it was a stranger that attacked you, but the fact that is was my boyfriend just makes everything feel so weird and much worse somehow. I loved this person and really wanted it to work. I wanted to stay with him forever and to live in harmony and peace. But it just didn’t turn out like that at all. I can’t control other people I suppose, I can only control my own responses to these sad situations. You just never know with people, who you are going to meet, how they are going to treat you. You can never predict it or never completely know and trust anyone. They always hurt and let you down some how. It is hard. Maybe it is human nature. But I think there are some people more cruel and crazier than others. I don’t think anyone is perfect or sane and I do tolerate a lot and care for people. I always forgive, empathise with others. However I never agree with violence, this is criminal and should never happen in any relationship. A relationship should be about love, care and respect, never abuse, threats, mistreatment and violence of any kind. It is disgusting and completely insane. Far below my morals and standards anyway. I really hope I can find a good decent, loving and caring man soon. I hope they are out there and they are not all violent and dangerous. Mardi. xx

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