#6057
Mardi
Participant

Just be really careful. I gave my ex boyfriend so many chances because I still loved him, I stayed with him for about 5 years. Love is blind and it is so hard to let the person go I understand that. However, if you can just remember the abuse he gave you and weigh up in your mind if it was dangerous or really abuse. Try and read up and learn the signs if you are not sure. As women, we are naturally more caring and forgiving than men. I used to have bruises on my arms, he used to pull my hair, throw me out the house in the middle of the night, try to strangle me, shook my head aggressively, push me over on the floor and almost down the stairs. The worst episode was when he picked up lot’s of different sized knives. He held them at my groin, my throat, my arms, stomach and chest. He put on a scary Halloween mask. I told him to put the knives down, I thought he was just joking, I thought no he won’t kill me, he can’t. He terrified me soooo much it was awful. He reinacted a rape scene. He pushed me on the floor, forcing me to give him oral sex. If I refused he said he would stab me. My God, if that’s not abuse I don’t know what is. I thought I was going to die that night. My God not good. That was the final straw for me. I used to forget about all the other stuff he did and just play it down. I used to think, well, everybody gets a bit angry from time to time its normal, every couple fights. But not like this. This was criminal, it didn’t feel normal or safe. It felt like a crime. I don’t feel safe with him anymore. I still miss him and love the guy and dislike being single, but I have read up on domestic violence now, because I knew nothing about it before, that in fact in DOES GET WORSE. The abuser does not change. The only way you can change him is if you end the relationship. If you go back it just gives him permission to do it again to you. He can walk all over you then like a doormat. You are stronger than this. Don’t let some bad man walk all over you. You deserve better. If you end it, he may realise what he has done and change. If he gets a new girlfriend in 5 minutes, then he will go on to abuse her as well. You are not missing out on anything. You don’t want to end up dead do you?! No! Your life is so much more important and better WITHOUT him! You don’t need him. You will attract a more higher value and quality man if you leave him. Stick to your morals and standards. You only deserve the best. Take care love Mardi xx

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