Thank you all so much for your comments. It is greatly appreciated and good in some sort of way to know I am not losing it and that it is/was real.

My sister and I are closer than ever, but the process took a long time. The people he got to before me are starting to hear the truth and some peoples ideas have changed. However, that doesn’t change my feelings for them and the fact that they took his word for it.

Luckily contact is now minimised. I have a separate phone for him and visitation is done now by my mum and new partner as last time I saw him I broke down as soon as I drove off. Just overwhelming fear of him, reminiscing of the hurtful things he has done and said and fear he wouldn’t bring my daughter back. I truly don’t know what to do if he didn’t – keep reading the police would do nothing and its such a minefield!

Lover of no contact – your message has particularly helped, and what you have said is so so true. You do question whether its not abuse and that its not real. But the damage after clearly shows it is. I will look into that book most certainly, and just to say how I feel to you ladies without burdening my family already seems to help – spilling how I feel truly without fear of judgement.

The words “none of it is my doing” rings daily I my mind – one comment that burdens the other memory’s

Truly, I am grateful for all your comments and kindness ladies..

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