I really feel for you. I can’t imagine what life is like for you not being able to live and be with who you chose.
I can only understand from a control point of view and feeling trapped is really hard but having family and religion control you is awful. I know people do have religious believes and I don’t knock that but for you it sounds very trapping.

Stay safe keep posting and if you can leave may be one day I guess this will be a good thing for you

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