Hello Moon I am so sorry to hear your distress, and how you are both suffering because of him 🙁
so good to hear you have amazing supportive friends. If you were away from him, all the abuse would stop. Well, if he couldn’t reach you in any way I mean. You could have your Christmas still, but yes the children are so attached to all the familiar family around, even if they are abusive, but she’s clearly showing you the results of his abuse on you, and in a different environment she wouldn’t see that, she would see the love and kindness and respect that you and your friends show each other and she’d missed the others, but actualy feel relaxed and calm and not under threat/tense all the time.
Would you be able to go to one of your friends for Christmas? If you are considering completely leaving, the helpline would be a great support if you called to talk it through as they would be able to help you plan leaving safely with support?
It sounds like this is what you are wanting to do, and will you certainly get lots of support here to be free of the abuse.
warmest wishes KS