I never put the stress i suffered every day down to the ex and his total disregard for normal boundaries and behaviour. Just thought after all the years of ups and downs of life, i was just one of those people who struggled with the everyday pressures -now i know different.

Thanks for your reply Amethyst15, I can totally relate to your comments. When I’m away from him I can see things more clearly, when I’m with him, part of me is still in denial. I was assessed by WA to see if I qualified for MARAC, I didn’t, not considered to be ‘at risk’ (because it is emotional/psychological rather than physical I suppose…) I don’t know if I will ever find the strength to completely break free, I have virtually no external support, apart from private counselling. I’ve been on a waiting list for several months to see a RASA counsellor (unconnected with my home situation), but they are so short-staffed in my area, there is no indication when one will become available. So I recently started to talk to the private counsellor who has had RASA training, but I don’t know if I can continue as I have found it so traumatising, trying to cope with how it leaves me feeling afterwards with no support is a scary place to be. Have got to the point where I really don’t care any more. Sometimes it’s just easier to let others treat you however they want and not fight back.

Out of energy and hope. There’s nothing left.

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