Also wanted to say – re the leave or stay thing…………
Weel no-one can tell you that – only YOU will know when the time has come – when you can take no more and you have to go.
It took me in the teens of year so pluck up the courage to leave him – and I DID stay for one last Christmas – but really it was none better than it ever had been – but I just hated the thought of leaving him at Christmas and ‘spoiling’ Christmas for the bairns – well its like this – if you live with an abuser – then Christmas is ALREADY ‘spoilt’ it wont be any different than any other day/any other Christmas…..
Im not saying if you leave right now things will all of a sudden be wonderful – cos it wont be – it take months and years to ‘get your life back’ – Im not quite there yet – but Im on the way – and I WILL get there one day – I will feel I have a nice life, and a good life – and one day I will be happy – don’t get me wrong – life when you are out, and safe, and free is 100% better – but it will be ups and downs – MANY OF THEM – and you WILL have many good days and bad days – but its all SO WORTH IT in the end!!!!!
There is never a good time to make yourself homeless – it IS scary and its not nice – but I believe whats meant to be will find its way to you – and things happen for a reason – a good friend helped us out with a roof over our heads while we waited to be housed – and then 10months down the line we got offered a house – a lovely house, and we are so happy and settled here – and you will be too – one day – you CAN DO THIS and you WILL – one day …….
Hope to hear from you soon – its good to be back intouch after all this time. 🙂