Hi I have written and deleted and re written this post a few times I am still not sure if this is the right thing to do but I don’t know what else to do. My husband has been emotionally abusing me for year the abuse is getting worse he is very aggressive with it shouting, swearing, banging around coming right up to my face so he spits on me when he shouts, he had broken things around the house. My husband has been married before, I have 2 step daughter that used to live with us but have not w moved to their own places, I have a primary school aged daughter from a previous relationship that lives with is, while my husband does not abuse her he is quite harsh and blunt with her at times. At other times he is the dad she never had. This is my problem, I know this is a stupid thing to say but at times he can be lovely. I was with my daughter myself just me and her for many years. Recently anything can set my husband off me asking if he is ok because he has been quiet, me talking about my stepdaughters and ways we could handle some of the issues they can bring to our door, I am told it’s not any of my business even though it effects me and my daughter and usually is me picking up the pieces from. My husband loses it shouts at be ends out marriages tells me to leave his house (it is his I am not on the mortgage) and that I am all the names under the sun, I do stand up for myself and tell him not to speak to me like that, I stay respectful I don’t call names or shout and ask him to calm down or he will wake my daughter this makes him angrier. The last few months he has come close to hitting me and hit things near me telling me he wants to hit me. (Detail removed by moderator) it happened again after a nice weekend (detail removed by moderator) I told him I was worried about her and felt like I got no support from him and he went crazy at me called me all the names under the sun said we were over he didn’t want to be with someone that made him feel terrible I was the one making him act like that and that he never acted this way before (I have heard reports that he was physically aggressive with his previous wife but thy she was also). After this I left him alone to calm down and then as usual he ignores me for a day or so and then I try’s to act like nothing happened. I have tried to talk to him about how this makes me feel and the effect it is having on me, I feel like a shadow of myself, I can’t even look in a mirror recently and I have no friends my family have stopped talking to me and I feel like I am the one causing him to be like this. I think he has never really loved me and that now he feels obligated to have me at the house, I can’t move out my daughter has finally settled in school and apart from the one bully has made friends, she has had to move before for my work and then again when we moved in with my husband so I could move to another area, I took another job that paid a lot less when I moved in with my husband as we could not get childcare in the area and so I am now financially reliant on him and could not afford the rent in this area myself. I am so loss and alone I just keep thinking that if I can swallow down these feelings and get through the next few years I will be in a better position to afford rent for me and my daughter, I am studying for a degree that will lead to a better paid job. But I am not sure if I can take one more night let alone a few years and my husband makes it so hard to study he gets mad and started arguments and shouting /screaming so I got no sleep before my last exams. I don’t know if I can cope it makes me feel like I am going mad he says he never said things he did he completely blanks me I feel like a nobody and I don’t know what to do, if it wasn’t for my daughter I don’t think I would be here but she is my shining light keeping me positive and giving me my reason to get through this. Just a hard day today I think 🙁

© 2024 Women's Aid Federation of England – Women’s Aid is a company limited by guarantee registered in England No: 3171880.

Women’s Aid is a registered charity in England No. 1054154

Terms & conditionsPrivacy & cookie policySite mapProtect yourself onlineMedia │ JobsAccessibility Guide

Log in with your credentials


Forgot your details?

Create Account

Skip to content