Hi mixed-up mum, lovely to hear from you again. You do seem to be going through similar things with your teenage son as I although at least yours does get up in the morning to go to school. Last night I thought I’d cracked it. Don’t judge me, but I offered a bribe, some cash, if he went to school today. His eyes lit up and he even asked to shake my hand to seal the deal. He turned his lights off early without being asked and really seemed to want to go today. Then this morning, the same as always, moaning and groaning and grumpy, not wanting to get up at all even when I reminded there is cash on offer if he does a full day’s school. Not even that made him get up so I don’t know what else I can do. Maybe he really is that tired because the lure of some cash should have made a difference. I have one more trick up my sleeve, let’s see if that works come January. I thought that he hasn’t seen real consequences for him not going to school so let’s see if my last try will work. This is a bit bad but I typed a letter “from a fictitious education authority person”, addressed to him, copy to me, in an official looking envelope and I posted it yesterday. It is a “warning letter” telling him that his parent/guardian may be issued with a penalty fine for him not going to school, giving him 15 days to improve the situation. I copied and pasted some official bits from internet to it so it’s all true although the authorities wouldn’t act this quickly. It sounds mad but I thought that maybe if he SEES this is the consequence for him not going, maybe it will make him think. I know that if I could GET him to school, he would do just fine. Anyway, we’ll see. I hope you don’t think I’m completely crazy for doing it.

My son’s dad is also trying to be his friend. He really is useless as a dad. He is very selfish and puts himself first always. I’ve tried getting his support, he says the right things but then buggers off and I can’t get hold of him when I really need some support. So I’m on my own.

The housing looks very promising at the moment. I bid on some flats last week and I’m now in the top 5 so I really hope I’ll get something early in the New Year. I am starting to get really scared about the thought of moving and being on my own. I have also come to realise that I will need a lot of support in dealing with the aftermath. I am on the wait list for counselling so hopefully that will come in at the right time because I will need it by then. It is the thought of being alone that scares me. I know I was useless at it last time and I was the one who kicked my ex out then. I went a bit mad with the online dating then and tried to fill any alone time with going out as much as I could. I am scared that I will feel the same this time round. I will have to find new hobby or something to make new friends and to get me out. That’s why I was hoping to be able to take my dog with me because he would give me company and a reason to go out. I realise it is going to take a long time to get over this and to heal and I am going to need to take my time with it.

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