#6279
Twisted Sister
Participant

your lad sounds exhausted, and very low 🙁

I think i’d be hardline on the tablet, removing it at dinner and letting him having it first thing before school hours, but definitely not during as he wouldn’t be able to have it normally during school hours, but he also possibly needs loads of support to help him overcome everything he’s been through and its so tough being Mum & dad because dad is so useless, not to mention abusive.

You have been through it too and working in an impossible situation so very hard, but everything is not lost forever, it really isn’t, for some studying when a teen is the worst time in their life to study and studying later on will be so much easier, if thats what he wants. I know one of mine when in junior years struggled terribly in class but is now doing really well, but although being younger so i had more control when it came to getting them into school, definitely didn’t want to go! hated it, cried, didn’t sleep, went to sleep the same time as your teen despite being under teen age.

Things changed once we were away from him. slowly, but yes, sleep improved, depression lifted and so on, at the moment you are fighting against the very things he is struggling with. You are doing the right things with the school by keeping in touch with them and letting them know what you are doing to try to get him to go, but he needs more help from them, someone coming in from the school to speak to him direct rather than through you can make a big difference if he feels support from them. He might also be getting a very hard time at school and be scared of not coping as he moved and the longer away and less contact he has the more difficult it will feel for him.

Perhaps ask what else the school can offer and who might be able to come speak to him to help him access education in some form and any other supports to lean on?

… and you too!? but just because he doesn’t do it in the traditional way might not have any impact on his future at all. If he’s a clever lad (i thinkyou said), he is clever, that doesn’t go away, and the information he needs to pass exams is often picked up far far quicker when not ‘sat’ in a ‘class’ full of others and their distractions.

All the hard work you are putting in is being completely undermined by the abuser, and its making it doubly difficult for him and you. Having another person outside involved will help a lot with challenging that for you both and you will have someone else on your side. … apart from all of us that is 🙂

warmest wishes KS

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