Sometimes the fear of the unknown is so overwhelming – how many times in life have you heard the phrase “better the devil you know” thrown about? I used to think exactly that…at least if I stayed I’d know what to expect. I knew he’d make all the promises of change, he’d be lovely for a while but it wouldn’t last; and even his violence and abuse became reliable, as strange as it sounds?

But when it came to the thought of going to a refuge…that was terrifying in a whole new way. But it had gotten to a point where the only piece of advice the SS could give me, was to go to a refuge and I knew I couldn’t stay with my child the moment they’d suggested I flee. I don’t want to worry or scare you but I do want to urge you to seriously consider it, before the social services decide you’re not safeguarding your daughter well enough…because that’s a slippery slope and I’ve seen it lead to the removal of the kids in too many cases.

I wanted to say aswell that although it is scary as hell and is a massive decision, and it’s difficult at first, it can save and change your life. You’d have a support worker to help you settle in and get things sorted and they can help with all those practical things – like benefits, registering at a new doctors, getting counselling for you and your daughter, and when you’re ready – moving on from refuge and being rehoused.

I realise it’s been a few days since you last posted but I wanted to add this and to ask how you are feeling now?

Love and light,

LBP. xx

© 2024 Women's Aid Federation of England – Women’s Aid is a company limited by guarantee registered in England No: 3171880.

Women’s Aid is a registered charity in England No. 1054154

Terms & conditionsPrivacy & cookie policySite mapProtect yourself onlineMedia │ JobsAccessibility Guide

Log in with your credentials


Forgot your details?

Create Account

Skip to content