Thanks you so much KIP and Hopesprings. I am so glad I have found this forum to share and read other ladies like yourselves story. It does help so much.
I don’t have a local womens aid yet, as I keep calling and get the answering service. I was given the details about woman aid from my Doctors room. I will keep trying to get hold of them though.
I don’t have any contact from my side and have blocked him in every way I can think of, but he is sending these letters by post to my address. I must say that he moved house  (detail removed by moderator) months ago and even though we were still seeing each other, he said he felt I didn’t deserve to know where he lived as he didn’t trust me emotionally!! So I still don’t know where he lives. I can’t stop the post from arriving, so thats what he does. I have promised myself that the next letter that arrives ( I have a box full) I will NOT read.

Do you know that because I am a single parent and lived in a different town to him, he managed to manipulate and control me so much so that he got me to believe he had been divorced for years, when in fact he was married all the while. When I left him the first time, he attempted to kill himself and called ME when he got out of hospital and like a idiot, I felt so sorry for him, as he had no-one to help him, not even his own family wanted to know him, that I took care of him physically and mentally for (detail removed by moderator) years, all the while he was controlling and manipulating me. I lost my family and friends as he would play the guilt trip thing on me and say I didn’t love him, so I gave everything and everyone up. Only an idiot like me, would want to take care of someone that had just deceived and lied to them, along with interrogated and treated them so badly. thats why I think I must be crazy or something. But, I loved him and I wanted to help him and I put him before myself and everyone else. After that, every time I had to walk away, he threatened me with taking his life again and I didn’t want to be responsible for that. Its part of how he held onto me. I needed to leave him constantly, because of the verbal abuse and belittling. His behaviour has made me feel like life biggest loser.
He even said bad things about my Dad passing and blamed me, saying I am a bad daughter. My Dad died from cancer, nothing to do with me.
I am so not looking forward to Christmas, but have to put a smile on my face for the children. My daughter has special needs and doesn’t understand all of this and I don’t want them to see me unhappy as its so not fair on them.

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