Hi Moon,

Wanted to give you a hug.

Extrapolating yourself from an abuser is a long process. There is upheaval, it takes courage, it presents huge practical issues and financial risk, the risk of him upping his abuse, etc..

But done the right way with the right support, it can be done.

Don’t doubt that it is abuse, or think that it is your fault. I did that for too long. Follow your gut. Get all the support you need to do what you need to do.

These abusers don’t own us- though they believe they do. We have a choice whether to be with them or not, and we are permitted to set boundaries where they are unable to touch certain parts of our lives that we don’t wish them to touch- indeed, we are permitted to be no contact with them if that is our wish.

I send you huge hugs and to tell you that I was where you are, and gradually and with stamina and belief I have managed to get him out of my life, and to keep my power in those parts where he is still touching my life ( the kids).

With research, reaching out and getting support from experts, and those who understand DV and the the tactics of an abuser, you can overcome. You can get your life back to one which is abuse-free. x

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