Thank you all for your messages. They mean a lot. My family and friends don’t understand how hard it is to break away and are slowly starting to think I am a fool and a lost cause. I am frightened of what the future hold and frightened of making a mess of it all. I am also frightened of him and how he’ll react when he knows it is finally over. He has never really been physically abusive but there have always been violent undertones, intimidation and threats. I worry that when he has nothing left to loose he may up the stakes.

I feel like I am living a lie and I agree with Karmasister that I am probably putting his feelings and wants before my own. He gave me an ultimatum a week or so ago and asked whether I was going to be here for Christmas or whether I was leaving. He said he didn’t want to have a nice Christmas as a family, for me to then up and leave in the New Year. I said I would leave but then he begged me to stay and here I am. I just don’t know what to do. Christmas is fast approaching. I could leave before but the children will be devastated. If I leave in the new year, he will just think I stayed for the presents and was just leading him on. My love for him has died, I don’t want him to touch me, I just go through the motions of day to day life. He keeps telling me he loves me and then gets cross if I don’t tell him back. He says I am a taker and not a giver, which makes me feel really bad. I know I am giving him false hope by staying but feel so stuck x

© 2024 Women's Aid Federation of England – Women’s Aid is a company limited by guarantee registered in England No: 3171880.

Women’s Aid is a registered charity in England No. 1054154

Terms & conditionsPrivacy & cookie policySite mapProtect yourself onlineMedia │ JobsAccessibility Guide

Log in with your credentials


Forgot your details?

Create Account

Skip to content