Hi Tamra,

I know exactly how you are feeling as I am going through the same pain with my ex. I was with him over two decades and he moved on with another woman soon after I left him. I keep thinking how could he?, when I am left bereaved of the hopes and dreams I had and unable to even think about another relationship. Did I ever mean anything to him at all?

I feel exactly as you do, like she has stepped into my shoes, slept in our bed with him, sat with him in our family home watching our TV together, ate off my dishes and even wanted to meet my children and take them out as a family together. She has literally stepped into my clothes as I saw a picture of her wearing a coat I left behind on social media. I think she did it deliberately to upset me. I have seen all the pictures she has posted on social media of the places he has taken her, the same places where we visited as a family together in happier times. She posts pictures of herself all the time posing and pictures of the things he has bought her. She posts things which I know is referring to me.

I have heard a lot of disturbing things about her and there is no way that I would allow her to be involved in my children’s life. I know he is spending all his money on her as she is long term unemployed and has a criminal record. He never spent any money on me or his own children and controlled every penny we had.

It hurts like hell, but I keep reminding myself as you should how abusive he was. We are so much better off without these men in our life. My ex is a psychopathic, n**********c money obsessed little boy in a man’s body. He is incapable of loving anybody. Inside I know he is unhappy as he cannot bear to be on his own. He knows what this woman is but he would rather ignore it than be on his own. She thinks he is wonderful as she hasn’t seen the abusive side of him that we suffered all those years. I actually felt sorry for her and contacted her to tell her what he was like but she doesn’t believe me. She thinks I am a jealous, bitter ex who is trying to cause trouble. Maybe one day she will find out for herself.

All I can say is that it does become more bearable as time passes. I was like you when I first found out, I was crying all day, struggling to contain my emotions at work, having dreams about him rejecting me, even feeling like I wanted him back again. I am now having days where I even find it funny as they are both so pathetic. He has finally met his match as she also has a history of being abusive, n**********c and psychopathic as people who know her have told me. Like him, she portrays herself to others as a gentle, caring, loving woman but he is in for a shock.

You deserve so much better than him and when the pain gets easier I hope you meet someone who will treat you as you deserve. XX

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