Hello MM from me too,
You mentioned the more obvious abusive, destructive behaviour from earlier years.It seems that when these men curb/ control their behaviour just a teeny little bit they think we should be glad or grateful. Maybe we feel things are not as bad and notice the small improvement as acceptable for a bit but the truth is that the abuse is still there, it’s less obvious and that just makes it more confusing for you and he still has a lot of work to do.
Your trip out, which you handled admirably by the way , is still abusive behaviour for him to get his own way, you’re right it wasn’t funny for you so it’s not a shared joke, or a pleasurable outing.
The drive home sounds scary and potentially dangerous.
It’s not just the actions or inactions but more the case of how they make you feel and having to do everything with half a mind on how he is going to be if kept waiting, or doesn’t get his own way, or doesn’t get the attentive audience and affirmations from you he is after.
Sounds like you are walking on eggshell around him and his self centered ways so yes, sadly the abuse is still there
X x x

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