Hi everyone, iv just joined today im (removed by moderator) with (removed by moderator) kids and im not in a relationship now but iv found myself in two abusive relationships the first was a shock he is there father.
Social services have been involved and the domestic helpline which got me help for a non molestation order. When i think back although i know what he did was wrong iv been strangled and knives brought to my door and i still cant help going over and over what happened in my head still trying to reassure myself it wasnt my fault. Then years later i found myself in another relationship i thought it was great he was so nice and after about a year i confided in him about what happened in the past and he knew he was my eldest dad. He was sympathetic at first. After a while of telling him this he started to show signs id seen before i just ignored it until one day i asked him an he said i was paranoid because what id gone through since then he has played on what iv been through an told me im the reason why men do this to me its my fault. We couldnt have a normal disagreement like everyone can if i dont have his opinion then im stupid and thick ***** who knows nothing his words and i should listen to him because he knows. This can happen over something so small the smallest of disagreements. Because i think i was so desperate to have a normal family and because of pressure from him we had a baby. Well now months after shes born and years on in the relatio ship we are over hes changed his number but still contacts me in every way he can knowing i can never contact him. Yesterday he called to say it was all my fault i should agree with him he knows he is right thats why hes so adamant about everything an i dont know anything.i forgot to say we broke uo i left him because he was always insulting me just because id have my opinions. Iv been called fat ugly spotty stupid thick idiot the list goes on and every time iv say back i love you an i dont know why u would want to call me them names.im quite a calm person i think iv learnt to let everything go over my head now but i had enough an left. He is still allowed access but he brought her nack the other day said he didnt want her anymore an i should have money off him instead.. im abit annoyed do i attract men like this? Is it me? I seem to annoy men because when they want to argue an insult me im so calm because iv been through it before is that wrong of me? Thank you for reading and i hope everyone has a lovely christmas.. i return back to work after christmas so ill have more to distract my mind xxxxxx

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