Hi Tamra. I, like you, could do nothing right and it is very confusing. I apparently worked too hard and emancipated him by earning more….but at the same time I didn’t earn enough and should be going for bigger and better jobs. I was not forward enough sexually…but when I made an effort it annoyed him and turned him off. I was unsociable and had no friends…but when I wanted to go out with the friends I did have I was ‘always going out’ and leaving him. I would buy him little things to showed I cared, food I thought he would like for example but mostly got told off as he was on ‘so and so’ diet that week. I wouldn’t drink because it makes me sleepy which he hated….but I was boring for not drinking. I could go on and on.
I have driven myself half mad trying to work out if I was in the wrong or he was, or why he behaved this way. I do now know that I was not in the wrong, I was trying to do what I thought he wanted to keep him happy. I also realise that there is no point trying to work out why he behaved this way – he is an abuser and for normal people like us there is no logic behind what they do. Because the behaviour is so crazy (and we are not) we can’t get our heads around it. So I have stopped trying. Sending Hugs xx

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