Dear White Rose,
I have just started a course of antidepressants, along with sleeping tablets. I was anxious and intolerant of background noise, I was living in a complete state of anxiety. Been on meds for over a week and although I sleepy (bizarrely I cannot sleep still despite doubling up on sleeping pills as directed), I feel calmer, much calmer. I don’t know about you but I feel like I am waiting for the next bad thing to happen,I think this year has been awful and my resilience is the lowest it has ever been. I am just emotionally beaten up and despite domestic abuse counselling, meds and rest, I feel worn out.
I got into trouble at work as I never completed something I should have, I realise I am not coping now, but I don’t have a magical cure. I have hope that this next year may get better. I don’t have many friends, certainly none locally. On Xmas day my mum who is away on holiday got her friends to phone to wish me a happy Xmas….it was a nice thought and I appreciated it, but it somehow makes me also feel very very sad. I hope things improve for you. I understand how you are feeling, sometimes you think it couldn’t get any worse and something happens to take it down another notch and you just don’t know how much more you can take. Don’t feel bad about medication, I see emotions and mental health problems in the same way as pain thresholds. If you had unbearable pain you would take pain relief. Sometimes the emotional hurt and pain drain us until you have no more left in you to live a functional fulfilling life. Meds can help you to get back on track x x x

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