Hi MM
I know exactly what you are feeling its like we have lived the same life.
I use to answer back and he would say “You always have to have the last word”, then I couldn’t be asked because it never improved the situation so he say “You’ve lost your spirt” Think thats call damed if you do and damed if you don’t.
I feel very angry when I have to see him, I feel totally repulsed by him, dogs pooh is more appealing. Im sure these feeling are because we are accepting to our self’s what these men are and we are seeing them for what they are.
On the flip side I get angry with myself for letting him get away with it. But I use to say it was wrong, but he ignored me. Don’t be too hard on yourself. x
When you have been a longer termer as I was/am as long as your safety isn’t compromised there is no rush to get out. Think, get advice for a new life we have spent decades in abuse a little longer if its to our benefit will not be wasted.