Morning flowerreadytobloom,
I agree thank good we have this forum. Its awful that you ended up blaming yourself for this mans behavior and unfortunately they do up the anti so they feel better about themselves. I wonder how on earth they live with the lies and shear muck they live in, I just couldn’t cope and I know that would send me over the edge. I told him a lie about twice in the 2 decades we were together to protect myself and it ate me up so much I told the truth after about 2 days and my god i paid for it, he punished me and if we had an disagreement he would bring it up…

I had to leave my home, pet, stepdaughter, some friends and so much more but I still had my family and the friends who over the many years learnt that he inst a good man even though he is still portraying he is. The problem we have is they are soooooooo convincing its terrifying actually.

I wanted to let you know that I and other women on here have found Melanie Tonia Evans very helpful.She came from an abusive relationship herself so she gets it where lots of people don’t, well in my experience anyway. Like you she went for counselling to her GP etc. but nothing seemed to help… she is now thriving and doing really well.
She is on the internet and has lots of YouTube videos, things to read etc. I did join onto her newsletter which you get for about the first 15 days everyday which were really helpful and then the odd one after that. There is a bit of course to join and pay for if you want to but I havnt quite done this bit yet even though I do believe in what she says I worry when money is involved but I do think I may have to as I am on a slippery road down and Im holding onto a shoestring to stop myself from giving into this pain and either calling him which would be like murdering myself or just giving up and crumbling, Sometimes I want to run away or go to a retreat and get detoxed but I know this has to be healed from with in and no amount of running will heal the pain. Unlike the abusers who run all the time must be exhausting.

Try and cut off from the nastiness, I do know this is hard, as you know the truth and at the end of the day that is what matters and hopefully one day your ex will be exposed for the …………….. man that he is. Mine is exposed but he doesnt know this as everyone is still giving him the there there treatment even though he was the one that killed us. I just want this latest woman to see him for what he is then I think I will get my peace, that sounds really cruel but the things she has also done to me at the moment I dont care, I also know that she is influenced by him but this isnt the first time she has broken relationships, see now Im going to feel for her and say she must also be soooooo insecure and wounded that she fell for his Mr charming act.and is now in-fore a rough ride. then I think nope she will change him, blah blah blah.

Blimey sorry I ranted on a bit. Keep posting.
Lots of love

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