Hi there. They will do everything they can to blame you and, yes, people will believe them. The trick is to stop caring what other people think. Let him say what he wants. You are in control of what you do, say and how you act.

If you don’t have children together then I would simply block him phone , email, social media. If tou do have kids like me then keep contact to a bare minimum. We only communicate through a contact book and text in an emergency. There is a record of everything. If he chooses to send threats and insults then I do not respond. It was very hard in the beginning because you just want to get you side across but I found the more you say the more they have to use against you.

I now only respond to fact, something necessary, with a simple answer in as few words as possible (so there is less for him to sabotage). If there was something else written that needed following up I call my mum, or the helpline to discuss or I get advice/support for my kids at school. I do everything to protect me and my kids and he gets nothing.

I have made my peace with him having a go. If it gets too serious I go to the police. I just make a note that there is now another piece of evidence…proof that he is what I think he is. He changes his story/argument from one day to the next but I can read back to prove to myself that I didn’t forget and I’m not going mad. Act with integrity, do not act out of spite, protect those who are close to you including yourself. Don’t give him anything to use against you. In time people will see him running around badmouthing and you simply getting on with things. The ones who matter will see the truth the others don’t deserve to be in your life.

Never forget that you have managed to carry on with your life despite what he does. Surely that makes you far stronger and more determined than many others!x

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