dear Tamra, big hug firstly. I wish i could offer you a magic cure, but there isnt one. White Rose is right, you are justified in your feelings of sadness andconfusion. These seem to be the steps of healing we are all going through. Its like grieving. I can understand how youfeel 100 %. Its like you were writing my own story. I also didn’t realise what i was putting myself through, until my Mum said to me, that i have being enduring abusive behaviour in all my intimate relationships in various form from young. Its what caring, selfless, giving people do alot of the time. They sacrifice themselves for the ones they love at their own cost! These guys are predators, just waiting for someone like you to come along, so they can infect us with their poisonous behaviour. When we eventually gather some strength to leave because we are almost broken, they swan off to go and inflict themselves on some itherpoor vunerable soul!
You are hurting, maybe angry at him and yourself ( i know i am angry at myself for being so naive and wasting so many years at everyone elses and my own expense)
The way forward for me is to do as was suggested yesterday. Find 5 positive things to focus on to achieve this year. I know that one of mine is to study a new course, it gives me something else to focus on. I also am going to do some volunteering as i think helping someone else with also give me purpose. Those are just some ideas to get you thinking. They are just my thoughts.
I also feel low and sadand hurt and a bundle of negative emotions as its only been a little while for me too, but i need positivity now. I like White Roses idea about keeping his texts or mails etc to reread to bring us back to reality when we feel like you do now and ache for him. I feel like that too, but i am rethinking whether i miss him or the idea of him. There is a person out there for you who will love you unconditionally the way you shoukd be loved and treated. Be strong in the knowledge that everyday you are one day closer to healing yourself and finding that new person. This is a new year, we have 365 opportunities presented to us, one for each day if the year. Opportunities to find our own happiness. Happiness is that which gives us pleasure and purpose. Its inside of each of us. We just have to believe in ourselves.
Thinking about you Tamra. Big hug and love xx

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