#6884
Tamra
Participant

Hi Starlight
Thank and im so glad im not alone even though that seems awful becasue why would I want anyone to share the same as me, the thing is its nice to know that you and others understand where Im coming from and others of course.
thank also for your tip on thinking of 5 positive things to do, I have already been to uni which killed us however there are other courses I want to do and even though I have an very tight throat right now though fear I actually can do what I want to do.

Thank you for the hug too it means a lot

xx

I wanted to also share what I said to Daisy on this post as I feel it is relevant to how Im feeling today,

Thank you and its fine to reply here. I have added stuff on the one I started so I wont go on again.
He did squash my emotions and didnt want to hear about how I felt unless it was about how I felt about him, of course only nice stuff though.
Yes this time of year is hard and now Im facing all the plans we made he will do with her and that hurts.
I think the saying is its take half the time of the relationship to heal so I have about a decade to heal god thats a long time hope it doesnt take that long but if it does then it does.
My future man would be a bit different to him but there are some bits I had in him that I loved. When he was nice he really was but then I think thats one of the tactics – like reliving the honeymoon period again over and over again. When I look back at all the ‘special’ days such as xmas, new year, birthdays etc. he would sabotage but blame me. I remember one of the ‘big’ birthdays I had I spent in bed and I messaged him to say that I felt down and hoped he would come over to me but NO all he said was ‘so am I’. the thing is we were both down because of him and the way he treated me, when days arent about him then he plays up. A few Christmas’s ago we had a fab time and I did all the meals etc. and also made sure I paid him alot of attention and a few days later he was in a mood and when I asked was up he said ‘you didnt pay me enough attention’ I was god-smacked and couldnt and still cant get my head around it. Its madness… The one Christmas he didnt play up was one were I went to his house on my own and my kids went to their dads so I could do this magical Christmas with him where he cooked and made a camp out in the lounge etc. sounds lovely but It was actually boring and he just wanted it to be sexual, then when his daughter arrived that was it his mood changed. I dont think he can cope with more than one person at a time as when I think about it now I always was pushed to the background which then made me withdraw and feel sad and then in turn that would rub of on him too, may god Its like going round in circles. It was like that at the beginning, he was so much more attentive and loving towards me I was his number one but that changed and I was so far down the list it was awful but he was always my number one may be till the end where I think I was slipping away.

And now hes happy showing off his new life and Im drowning in self pity.

Sorry for the downer and I went on a bit

xx

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