I think I’ve become so accustomed to his abuse I don’t even realise how bad it is until I say it out loud. Then I feel ashamed for allowing him to do this. When he was released from prison he was given an 18 month suspended sentence which means if he gets in any trouble he would be placed straight back in prison. Which is where he belongs. However, when this happened the police informed social services. They visited me and could see that the girls were very well looked after and fortunately I’ve somehow managed to safeguard them from him. They were happy with him being in prison and took no further action. My concern is if I call the police this time they won’t be so accepting. I feel like a terrible parent and I fear they will think that too. Therefor I cannot protect myself from him. After what happened last night I sat down with the girls and they both said they do not want him to come back here ever again. I have to respect and accept that as they come first. I’m just do worried about how I’m going to manage emotionally. He’s destroyed my confidence, my self worth, my dignity and self respect. I’ve cut myself off from most of my friends as it was easier not to have any and I feel really reaLly lost and alone 🙁 how I’ve managed to get threw this I’ll never know. But it’s all I know now and I don’t know how to change that.

Thank you for your kind words and for taking the time to write to me. Please any advice will be great fully received xx

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