Yes serenity and all those who have posted,
It is incredibly sad to realise that children are used as a weapon or lever in our abuser’s world. When I think of my ex, I wonder how much genuine love he has for his children. Each of the children have voted to keep their father at no or minimal contact. My youngest has just opened a channel of communication after a period of no contact. Ex uses push/ pull tactics all the time. Everyone in contact with him is put on a merry go round. The children have wised up because they are adult and can see through the games and manipulation. Ex always said to me ‘your trouble is…(.always the same preface) you put the children first’ He always resented that and constantly created trouble to cause friction between family members. But, he has ultimately suffered because the kids keep him at a distance. At least our relationships with our children are genuine and loving and fulfilling. Abusers can’t have that because it would mean they are not centre of attention or calling the shots. It’s control not love they get a kick out of and kids see through the act eventually.

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