Hi East and others who’ve posted on this thread. Yes totally relate to experiences after decades with my ex, the experience of which is uncannily similar but since leaving I’ve realised the extent of the abuse and how abusers work to type, so not uncanny at all! Like you lived with stress and anxiety for years and thought it was me. Didn’t call what the ex was doing abuse but now know it for what it is. Like you East, family illness brought us back after me moving away. Tactics returned and with it the depression of feeling powerless and trapped. Only way forward is to cut contact(if not totally as minimal as possible). Situation will not change otherwise- you will be to blame and he will claim victim. You will only start to heal when he is out of your day-to-day. I left it way too long because I was terrified of being totally on my own, I’d been conditioned and programmed to believe he was everything. He’s not and I’m still here. It’s been hard but all the pain has been worth it and you deserve to live a peaceful, fulfilling life x keep posting for support x

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