Dear Sugar,
So glad you have made the first step by post by joining this forum and posting. What hou and your children have been through and endured is heartbreaking. These ladies have given you great advice…. Get support. Di it for your children. I am not going to sugar coat it by saying everything will be great once you have taken the next step. Its a journey, but every day is once step closer. Like my support lady said to me, we need to view the healing process as a ladder and each rung up the ladder is a step upward and oneard. I kept pictures of my children close and whenever i feel weak, i look at those faces. They keep me focused now. We want the best for our children, and ourselves. You are doing the right thing by taking the first step.
The reason we want to hold on to these men, is because they have conditioned us into believing we are nothing without them. They strip us of confidence, dignity, self worth. Its all part of the plan. They alienate us from friends and family or any contact with the outside world. This makes us reliant on them for any form of contact, little bits of affection and they control us in every way.
Its because you are so conditioned to being around him for all these things that being on your own seems so daunting. It’s definitely not love! You can with support, get through this. You can find yourself again, learn to build your self confidence and self love and connect with your inner self. Slowly but surely you can build on relationships with family, friends new and old. It just takes baby steps, one at a time.
You will all be so much happier in the long run. You can always count on the lovely ladies here for support. They have been really helpful and insightful to me.
Big hug to you and remember.. You can do this! Xx

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