Oh Serenity, are we married to the same man? That last paragraph really resonated. It’s why I won’t speak to him now – he has nothing to say that will make me feel any better, and he doesn’t deserve my attention.

Right now, I’d rather not have any sexual feelings at all, but my body disagrees. I’m finding it very beneficial to just discharge those feelings by masturbating and only thinking about how it feels right now – that last bit is very important. It’s having an unexpected side effect – before my emotional entanglement with him was reinforced by what I thought of as love making. By having a sexual relationship with myself, I’m finding that the bond I have with myself is strengthening, and I’m becoming more capable of being kind to myself and to be self loving in other ways.

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