Oh dear, that fabulous therapist….What they sometimes do is start floating ideas to you, and I’ve just realised he’s trying to tell me it’s because my husband is possibly a n********t. The problem with that us that my mum is also one, so it would seem I walked straight into a relationship with one as a way to escape the abuse of another. Obviously I’m now going to seriously doubt my own judgement.

It also explains why it went so wrong. I had a form of therapy called DBT – focused on helping me to manage my emotions better. And what that did was enable me to set better boundaries with my Mother and stop being her supply. You have to weather quite a storm when you do this with a n********t, because they use every trick in the book to get you back.

At the time, there was something odd happening to my husband, and I decided that it must be that I’m trying to be his supply, except he doesn’t want that. So I stopped reacting to his behaviour too. And then he love bombed me, which at the time I thought was our relationship getting back on track. And then after managing to break through one last time and get a really good emotional response from me (he pretended my car had been stolen – what bizarre behaviour!!), he discarded me in the worst way possible, and then still not realising what was happening, I let him see how devastated and broken I was. Of course now I’ve gone no contact, he’s started to behave in a really agressive way.

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