Hi Confused, think of him/ it as a nicely wrapped present. It looks beautiful and you very much hope that the quality of the present reflects the wrapping.

But you open the box, and there is either something very small, or nothing at all, or something not very nice.

This is like our abusers. I tried to think of this image whenever I felt myself doubting the evil he was capable of due to his extraordinary gift of appearing so nice when he wanted ( he was a beautiful man physically too).

The real him is the one who is working only for himself and who treated you so dreadfully.

Ignore his family. You are so brave. X*x

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