Hi ladies,

I am new here and still not sure what to write. I a bit of support offline but I still feel like the only one who is taking my situation seriously – and it took me a while to do that myself. I left my husband (detail removed by Moderator) months ago, after his abusive and controlling behaviour started to affect and endanger our little boy, who was (detail removed by Moderator) old at the time. It was the best thing I ever did. However, I have been looking over my shoulder ever since, like he warned me to do. I have told the police, child services and ESDAS all I can and have moved house and changed my number. However, there is an old email address I leave open as its the one I gave him to pass to any lawyer he might involve in getting visitation. I told myself not to go and look in the email inbox as my heart would start to race and I felt sick. But its hard to know that he might be writing things and I don’t know what they are – what if there is some warning as to his intentions there so I can stop waking up at night and wondering if tomorrow might be the day I get court summons? What if he admits more of what he did and it some sort of closure for me? Anyone else still feel the pull of the ex’s control, even after they are out of your physical life? I feel so strong some days and others I feel like he’s still right here, telling me that I am the crazy one, the controlling one and that he will never ever be out of my head.

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