My ex also used to use the term ‘gay’ as his choice of derogatory insult. He too had an interest in given anal sex (although it never happened).

I suspect that he was sexually abused by a male in a position of trust as a child as he has a distrust of everyone, significant levels of denial and an obsessive belief that any male in contact with our children will sexually abuse them if given the chance.

So I wonder, as somebody else suggested, if he is using his one weak point as a way to abuse others.

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