My ex would give me mixed messages about his attitude towards homosexuality. On one hand he would say that he had no issue with it, loved the gay people he worked with, had a few gays friends. On the other hand he said all gay men were predatory (and therefore dangerous) and that being gay was a choice that men made. He was very hung up on his sexual performance (sex for him was only a performance, nothing else) and used enhancing methods. He hinted at maybe being bi-sexual but when I suggested a threesome with another man (in retaliation for him constantly pushing the idea of another women on me) he got angry, which I think was about his ‘performance’ issues.
He also wanted anal but I got the impression this was more about the fact that I refused than anything else, he just wouldn’t let it go because he knew asking me upset me.
I suspect strongly that he is Bi and would have liked to explore that side of himself.
I think supressing that could have helped create the monster he is, but its not the cause or an excuse for his behaviour.

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