yes i understand what you are saying Daisy, there’s no way i’ll ever make any difference to him no, thats for sure, we can’t change them,only make our own changes.
I might beg for it to stop, to end, but only he can do that and i’m on in the business of terrifying people so that they will do as they’re told, doing whatever’s necessary to make them tow the line,and changing tactics if it stops terrifying.
I have dropped those people, i went through that pain ages ago, and now realise i didn’t lose anything actually as they weren’t very good friends, or couldn’t understand my situation, but that knowledge of where i was has only come from him, and he directed others to find out where we were going, but it was him that knew we were a long way from home, or away somewhere different to what he’d know or expect.
Its meaning me spending my life running commando style as you put so well! If i knew how he knew this i might be able to do something about it and not spend my life in fear of it.
to finally take my own ccontrol back and not spend the rest of my life in fear