mixed-up mum

Hi Foggy – thank you too for taking the time to read my post and to reply to me – means a lot – and thanks too for the cuddle – good to know you ladies are here for me. 🙂

My ex seemed to have no empathy and no caring what so ever for what I was feeling or going through – it was all about him and HIS needs!!!!

I just could never ever trust him – if he pretend to care for me – it was only ever cos at the end of the day he was only ever after one thing – I wonder if I WILL ever be able to trust another man again…..

I just want someone to care for me, and want to be there for me and love me and not just want me for what he can get from me….

I just want companionship, someone who wants to be with me and wants to talk to me, and just be close and cuddle, and MAYBE then in time I may be able to get some sexusl feelings back – after what he did to me for so many years, Im not sure I will ever be able to trust again, and have sexual feelings for someone – I’m just scared another man will be the same…..how will I know???
My ex was not sexually abusive for the first 5 years of our marriage, then he changed ( when our daughter was born and he had to share me, and he was no longer the centre of my world) so how do you know the signs, it crept up do gradually.
I’m just scared to let any man get that close to me again…

But now I’m middle aged with two teenagers who would want me – I was with my ex for half of my life – I have never really ‘ dated ‘ anyone other than him, basically he was my only sexusl partner – and after what he did to me – its a big ask to let someone get that close again…..but I don’t want to be alone for the rest of my life like my mam – she never had another partner in 35 years.

So I hope one day someone will love me again, and I can love again……..

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