I can’t prove the abuse. And compared with others it’s not that bad, so I do feel like I’m making a terrible fuss saying it is abuse (my therapist and solicitor and working hard with me to change how I see it).

I told the mediator last week about emotional abuse. I think we might have to shuttle it (be in separate rooms). I tried asking for that last time, and he rolled his eyes and said “look what I’ve had to put up with “.

In some ways, a lot of the mental health problems I have seem to very evaporating now he’s gone. In other ways, I’m not coping very well – at the school gates I have lots of people who don’t know telling me he’s having a silly midlife crisis and he’s sure to come back in 6 months. Last time someone said that I got all shaky and hot and kept retching. Now they think I have a sickness bug.

I’m not sure whether I’m feeling frightened now because I believe what he said, or because I know I have to deal with him to get things sorted out.

When I say no contact, I actually have to do modified no contact. My nearest family is 100 miles away. His parents is 10 minutes away, and that’s where he goes to have her for the weekend (he’s moved 200 miles away to be with “friends” he’s known for 6 months). I asked him to arrange for one of his parents to collect and drop our daughter off. He said no, he won’t inconvenience them, and I should stop being so melodramatic and think about how our daughter’s best interests.

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