Hi Bubbles,

I remember watching a You Tube clip a few months back, of an abusive mother, who was going into full rant mode, putting down everything her daughter was. It was heartbreaking.

Sounds as if you have just experienced this too. An abuser furious that they are being stood up to, all the perceived injustices ( they like being victims- especially when confronted about their behaviour) all coming pouring out.

Note how she doesn’t apologise for what she did- just for the fact you told people about it. They want their behaviour kept secret.

My counsellor pit a cushion in front of me and told me to pretend it was me as a child. Yes, sounds a bit crazy! She told me to tell that child I loved her. It took me weeks to be able to do it- but when I finally did, I meant it.

I hope 2016 is the year that you break off a bit from your family, find the strength not to go on holiday with them, tell them to not interfere in your parenting and tell them you are only willing to be in contact with them if they are respectful to you.

Abusers abuse if they think they can get away with it. Show them they can’t.

I stood up to my mum last year. It was groundbreaking. She is much more respectful to me now. I hope your mum learns too. If not, keep her at arm’s length. You deserve to be treated only with kindness and. Respect X

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