#7503
bubbles
Participant

Thank you ladies and New wings it does sound very similar. However the “golden children” of these n**********c parents do tend to come off worse. They are more dependant on the narc and unlikely to see what has gone on around them. I am in no doubt i am far better off than my sister who is older than me extremely overweight, constantly on medication for depression and still lives with her parents.

My father beat me on my mothers orders i believed he was an abusive man and actually forgave my mum at one point for her ill treatment as i thought abuse can make us do horrible things. But the more i read he’s not abusive he’s no more than a flying monkey, her little helper. The last time my father beat me i was 20!

I started receiving texts last night. Threats and her basically loosing her temper telling me she hadn’t told my father yet but when she does it won’t be good for me. I text back saying i’m extremely angry with her still and quite rightly so! I need some time to cool off and decide the best level of contact with her for my childrens sake. Also if she actually told the truth about what happened to my dad there should be no reason for him to be angry with me. And if he does become violent the police will be told and contact will cease with the kids as they cannot go to see people who batter their mother. The reply was your father would never be violent how could you think that i just didn’t want you to feel we were ganging up on you. (I received some pretty nasty texts from my sister yesterday so the ganging up has already started)

Serenity i did get an apology it was along the lines of maybe i acted over protective but only because i love my family so much ha ha ha not much of an apology. It’s good you stood up to yours do you keep her at arms length still? I feel that by standing up to her i have comforted my inner child a bit i have defended her and said what i would’ve loved to have said back then she will be proud of me! Hugging her doesn’t really work for me she doesn’t want sympathy she wants protecting and standing up for.

I have just ordered the will i ever be good enough book the lundy books helped masses when struggling over the exes. so i thought id give this a go. It’s so nice to feel i’m not the only one. My inner child seems to be finding allot of friends who also seem to have gone through the same.

I was groomed too new wings its affected me masses. I struggle to make friends i feel awkward in anyones company. I struggle to act authoritative and mature in some ways. I had abusive relationships because it was normal for me. They groom us for these men then slate the men for treating us the way they do. Everything she said hurt me masses because it was like she was undoing everything my therapist has done to help me. Iv realised how much iv kept from her in my mental journey. I think it must of felt like i had dropped an atomic bomb on her with the knowledge she didn’t know i had.

I have spoken to the children who spend allot of time at grandmas and said i would like you to come home earlier than what they usually do so we can spend time together. Im going to break them away slowly. I do not want to loose my children when they grow up my mum is grooming them as the golden children and i have had to warn my daughter on several occasions when in my mothers company that her attitude is not nice and not a good way to treat her mother and she’s snapped back out of it!

Does anyone else with narc parents feel a bit disappointed that they will never have a mother or siblings who are close to them? I feel like i’v missed out on something when i see other families and it’s not a nice feeling. I’d love for my sister to treat me with respect and as a friend. I’d love to have a mother who i was close with and that will never happen. When i see families on the telly i think “thats not normal families don’t act like that” when realistically they do it’s my distorted view. I’ll see a mum hug her adult daughter and give her a kiss and think whoa that’s strange.

Luckily I don’t think my upbringing has affected me as a mother. When reflecting on my past i do show higher than average levels of empathy. I encourage my children to be close to each other and would love to see them grown, happy and successful.

Thank you x

© 2024 Women's Aid Federation of England – Women’s Aid is a company limited by guarantee registered in England No: 3171880.

Women’s Aid is a registered charity in England No. 1054154

Terms & conditionsPrivacy & cookie policySite mapProtect yourself onlineMedia │ JobsAccessibility Guide

Log in with your credentials

or    

Forgot your details?

Create Account

Skip to content