Hi Mixed up mum,
I didn’t realise until very recently that my ex was sexually abusing me as well as physically and emotionally.
He never forced himself on me but he used to get me to to touch myself while he masturbated. I never felt comfortable with it but he would go on and on until I did it. All I wanted was for him to hold me and make love to me but he seemed to get far more pleasure out of making me do that so he could watch.
I think I thought because he never physically forced me to do it that it wasn’t sexual abuse but the more I read about other womans experiences the more I realise that this was just another aspect of his control. He didn’t care whether I was enjoying it or whether I wanted to do it he just cared about what he wanted.
I left him because of the violence and have been out of the relationship for a while now but until now I have never spoken about the sexual side of things.
I suppose because the violence was easier to see.
Thank you for posting about your experience it has given me the ability to see that my experience was wrong.

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