#7532
one day at a time
Participant

Hi Sparkle. So glad you’ve found the courage to post about what is really going on for you. It is so hard to admit to ourselves sometimes just how difficult it is. Particularly when it’s ongoing emotional and mental abuse, which is what he is doing to you.
I stayed in a very unhealthy and unhappy marriage for years where I suffered very similar abuse to you – silent sulks, nasty comments, threats to kill himself, putting me down, isolating me, blaming for how he felt….. the list is endless. It didn’t start like that and it just kept getting worse.
So please keep posting and keeping track of his abusive ways. This will help keep you focused on the days when he is being ‘nice’ and making you think that he is going to change.
Like your husband, mine also ending up being disowned by all his family members and had no friends. This is when it took really started to get worse for me, because his focus was on me 100% of the time and I sense this is what is happening for you. Everything became my fault. Nothing was good enough. I was accused of affairs when I didn’t even dare speak or look at a man. He accused me of being mental and an unfit mother. He sabotaged all attempts to improve in my career.
He ended up controlling everything about my life and little by little the abuse worsened.
Please remember that your job isn’t to keep him happy. You shouldn’t have to be walking on eggshells all the time. You deserve to be treated with love and respect.
You should be able to live your life as the woman you know you can be.
It took many years before he was removed by the police and for me that was the point of no return. It’s not easy making the decision to separate, but it was the right one.
I don’t want to make this about me, just wanting to give you hope that it is possible to get out of a horrible relationship and life can be good again.
Take care. xx

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