I can’t change the locks as he has same right as me to our property. He is emotionally and mentally abusive and the threats are to take my children away or drive me out of the house. My fear is that he will drive me to a breakdown/out of my mind. He almost did a week ago, I broke in front of him but then managed to pull myself back together. I’ve nearly given in a couple of times and thought my only way to peace is to move out, I’ve stopped myself and then my mum has helped me see other ways to stand my ground.
If I take an order out (I don’t feel I have enough evidence to do so and sometimes hope he would physically threaten me because then I would know I’m right to take out an order/call police) my children will see me as the bad one and it will make me look completely unreasonable. He comes in when he wants and I never know what mood he’s going to be in. But it’s almost worse when he’s nice because I start to doubt myself. Am I the unreasonable one? And then I fear where the niceness is going and he starts expecting me to back down and then gets angry when I stick to my guns. At least when he’s horrid it makes me stronger more determined. He has stopped short of damaging property like he has in the past, but came very close. He did badly bruise me once many years ago, so I do have that fear in the back of my mind always but haven’t truly felt he would really go that low again.
He’s being nice at the moment. He moves to a house in (detail removed by Moderator) days, with the children as they want to move in with him. They gave been particularly angry with me because he’s manipulated them to try and keep control.
I hope this time it settles down and the niceness doesn’t turn into direct manipulation then anger.

© 2024 Women's Aid Federation of England – Women’s Aid is a company limited by guarantee registered in England No: 3171880.

Women’s Aid is a registered charity in England No. 1054154

Terms & conditionsPrivacy & cookie policySite mapProtect yourself onlineMedia │ JobsAccessibility Guide

Log in with your credentials


Forgot your details?

Create Account

Skip to content