#7564
Marthamoo
Participant

Hi Moon

I have finally had chance to catch up on all your posts and have looked back at your historic ones. Honestly I could weep. I can’t believe what he has put you through. Please, please please don’t give in to him. Whilst you are away from him you are both safe. There is nothing stronger than the bond between a mum and her daughter and he will never be able to break or compete with that. Your girl needs YOU. You are the most important person in her life. You are the one that can show her what life should be like. A life when you can be free and live without fear. I know sometimes it may seem like an impossible dream but it really can happen. You have so much to fight for.

Your husband should be ashamed of what he has done to you. Don’t allow him to blame anything on you. Keep posting on here and really listen to the advice you get from SS, DV worker, staff at the refuge etc. They have seen this time and time again and are best placed to advise you. They will know how to keep you safe.

I think most women with children who suffer at the hands of their partner, stay because they are in love with the idea of the family unit and what that could be if things changed. The hope we have for that happy normal family holds us tighter than anything else to these horrible men. By leaving you are making steps to provide that loving family unit for your daughter. You don’t need a man to make that unit complete. In time, your friends, old and new, will become part of your family unit and you will gain strength, support and love from them. You will be able to live your life the way you want and be the mum you want to be.

My granddad (Mum’s dad) was abusive towards my Nana and for a long time she lived a life of misery. My dad was abusive towards my mum and mentally abused me for years. I ended up marrying an abusive man, and living a life very similar to the life my mum had. My husbands mum and dad had a very volotile abusive relationship. I am determined to break the cycle for the sake of my children. I do not want my daughter to think that this is ‘normal’ life and grow up to think that men are allowed to treat us this way. Equally I don’t want my son to grow up and become a younger version of his Dad.

I have the up most respect for you and think that you are a remarkable lady. We are all rooting for you on here and so want you to be happy and safe and free xx

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